The God Who Created The Stars and The Seas Sees Me
What do I believe to be true? I have been here before. You have too. Or you will be. At the end of a road that leads to disappointment, dissatisfaction and inevitably discouragement. What now? When you were positively convinced God would work and act in your favor. From everything you see it is all dust, ashes, nothing plus nothing equaling a big fat nothing. Is it true, you can’t question God? Now what do you do? What do you do when what God allows through his hand breaks your heart and wrecks your world?
“That’s rude mommy!” My daughter spoke to me with depth of clarity and conviction. She had asked me a question. I answered with a question and redirected the conversation. The particulars escape me at the moment. However, I distinctly remember the weight of the response was not one her mind could handle. I posed another question to get her to the heart of the issue. I could see what she was truly wanting to know beyond the original inquiry. She answered. I explained my knowledge is far more vast than her. I asked her to trust me. I immediately felt that nudge on my shoulder figuratively, of God saying ‘’daughter do you trust me?”
I am never going to not wonder why my baby boy had to die? My heart wrestles with this question to God. He does not answer me directly. He gets to the heart of my true longing. His knowledge is far more vast than mine. One of my favorite biblical figures had some questions and God had some indirect but spot on answers. Answers that met his true heart’s longing. There is a man in the Bible who literally looses it all, Job. Job is described as a righteous man even throughout his suffering and loss (Job 1:22) . There is much to be gained, extracted and learned through his story. I am particularly struck by the questions in the early chapters. Job, his friends, and his wife all contest with what led to Jobs current state of suffering. As all do. We find ourselves in an unwanted place of pain and we wonder why. Our friends wonder why. Our families wonder why. A dialogue is captured between Job and God. God answers Job. He does not speak to his specific concerns but the specific point of his needs. “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined it’s measurements- surely you know! (Job 38: 4-5) God is illustrating his supremacy. He is the authority over all. From the stars to the seas. The pain and loss Job is enduring can be trusted in the same hands that ensure the sun rises and sets.
I ask God why. Job wondered why. It is okay to ask. God has not answered me directly. God did not answer Job directly. He may not answer you directly. Much like my conversation with my daughter I knew more but God’s knowledge is infinite. God is all knowing. His knowledge is beyond my ability to begin to comprehend. Yet he graciously answers the longing in all of our hearts that he can be trusted. He who cares for the sea, the sparrows and the sunrise surely I can trust to care for all of me.
PAUSE: What is your heart questioning? Give yourself a moment to hear your hearts cry.
PRAY: Speak your heart. Ask God about what aches within you. Pour your tears at his feet in prayer.
PERSUE: Read through the book of Job. Take your time and allow the story to inform and encourage you. God is present, he offers peace and work’s purpose through our life’s stories.
